Gender Roles, Cooking, Witchcraft and More

My inspiration for this post started when I was 

sitting in a taxi on my way home from work.

Wait...

Let me back up and fill you in on the taxis over here...

Taxis
When you hear the word taxi, what do you think of?
Personally, I think of a yellow car that drives you where you want to go. There is a tracker of some sort in the middle, and you are either charged by the distance or the time it takes to get there. I also think of NYC because in all the movies I see there are tons of taxi cabs in NYC.
If that is what comes to mind for you, that's a good start.

Here in Cameroon, and in several other parts of Africa, taxis are 'shared taxis'. You stand on the side of the road in the direction you need to go and wait for a yellow cab. In these cabs, there will be 3 (sometimes 4 but usually 3) people in the back and 2 people sharing the front passenger seat which usually leaves the middle person sitting on something uncomfortable and close to the driver. In Buea, taxi fares run from 100fcfa (20 cents) to 250fcfa (50 cents) depending on the distance. Typically this is how it goes:

You are standing on the side of the road.
When a taxi is approaching you put your hand out sort of like you are hailing a taxi. If you are with a friend or two then you must put out the number of places you are trying to get in the taxi. (eg: You are with 2 friends, you hold out 3 fingers).
As the taxi is approaching if he flashes his head lights that means the cab is full (in other instances, like crossing the street, this flashing of lights could mean 'go ahead and cross I will slow down').
If the cab is not full he will pull up next to you, but it will be a quick sort of drive by where you are expected to shout out your destination.
If the driver doesn't hear you he will call you to come to the car or slowly back up for you to say again.
If he hears you and is not going there, he will simply continue driving.
But if he is going there you will get a BEEP BEEP which means "Yes! Hurry up get in the cab!"
There are even secret codes for certain destinations here depending on the direction you are going and the way you make your fingers point. It could mean Mile 16, Muea, Bakweri Town or Buea Town, Campaign Street, etc.

All of this non verbal communication has taken me some time to master. And I am still learning.

OK, now back to my inspiration for the post...

Most taxi's play music, some play recordings of preachers/prophets and others have nothing to listen to at all.
One day, a Cameroonian gospel singer by the name of Elizabeth Tekeh was playing. I always hear her music, and although it is classified as 'gospel', I enjoy it! It is quite catchy and up beat, plus, she has a great voice. That day, I listened closely to the lyrics to the song and was quite disappointing. She is usually recognized as a 'strong empowering woman' but the lyrics she sang seemed to contradict other songs I have heard her sing.

She sings mostly in Pidgin English but you should be able to get most of the lyrics.

Listen to the song here:

I call this song "Marriage" because I can't find the official name and no one here knows it either.
I've wrote the lyrics myself. Everything that looks like this: (is the translation from Pidgin-English and/or my own interpretation and opinions).

Marriage na love o and understanding o
If wona love and understand wona self, marriage go waka fine

(Marriage is love and understanding.
If you guys love and understand yourself, marriage is/will be good. 'wona' is loosely translated to 'you people' or you guys or you {more than one person}
"o" is put on the end of words to show emphasis or exaggeration.)

If you want your marriage fo last, love your wife o.
If you want your marriage fo last, give and provide for your wife.
If you want your marriage fo last, submit yourself to your husband.
If you want your marriage fo last, respect and obey your husband.

(fo is for = to (in this case).
 
submit: verb: accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person. synonyms: give in, yield, give way, back down, cave in, bow, capitulate, relent, defer, agree, consent, accede, conform, acquiesce, comply, accept
obey: verb: 1. submit to the authority of (someone) or comply with (a law). synonyms:    do what someone says, take/accept orders from, carry out/follow the orders of, be dutiful to, heed; 

To me, submit is a very degrading word. When I think of obeying and submitting yourself to someone, I honestly think of the way slavery was in the US [and I'm sure everywhere else]. Where the slave is treated as some sort of animal who is not worthy of making their own decisions and must submit themselves to their master and obey their every command. 

That is just not OK with me.)

If any man play ei part as God talkam for bible
God go favor wona marriage
marriage ei go waka fine

(Which ever men play their part that God has said in the Bible, God will favor your marriage. Marriage will be good.)

Marriage na love o and understanding o
If wona love and understand wona self, marriage go waka fine

If your wife make you vex no holler around people
Callam for inside room
Talkam show say you di vex and a humble woman will say sorry
and marriage go waka fine

(If your wife makes you angry dont yell at her in public. Call her to come inside the room. Tell her that you are mad and a humble woman will say sorry and your marriage will be fine

If the reason he was angry is legitimate to apologize for then I have no problem. But I don't see why it doesn't say If you make ya wife vex say your are sorry and kiss her. )

Bible don say husband na da head of the household
Woman na helper of the husband
Do your best walk with your husband
When you walk with your husband you marriage go waka fine

(The Bibles says that the husband is the head of the household. The woman is the helper of the husband. Do you best do what your husband does/wants. When you do what he does/wants your marriage will be good.

Even if that is what the Bible says, the Bible is a book that was written 3,500 years ago.  
“The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change” ― Heraclitus. 
It is not OK that women are still seen as inferior to men. We have a lot of growing to do. Just look at what happened this last year even in places that are supposed to be seen as "equal". This just goes to show, the world has a lot of growing to do.)

If you want your marriage for last, no hide money for your wife
If you want your marriage for last, no hide anything for your husband
Wona work together, hand to heart
Wona reason together
Marriage go waka fine, fine, fine, fineee.

Marriage na love o and understanding o
If wona love and understand wona self, marriage go waka fine

If you want your marriage for last, pray for your marriage
Be faithful to one another
Honest to one another
Transparency every day wona come together
Wona walk together marriage ei go waka fine, fine fine fineee.

Marriage na love o and understanding o
If wona love and understand wona self, marriage go waka fine

This brings me to my next observation...

It's tradition!!

Gender Roles    

"A woman's place is in the kitchen. Except some Saturdays, maybe I will cook for her and give her a break."
This statement was said by one of my students in class. He is 14 years old. There wasn't a soul who out-rightly and openly disagreed with his statement. Not even me, I was trying to be more of a mediator and just let the discussion flow. Most of the boys in the class and a couple girls sat there nodding their heads agreeing.

I can picture the response to that same statement made somewhere else: a cold hard slap in the face and a room full of pissed off men and women alike. The first thing I think of when I hear that statement and others like it is "What is wrong with people!? This is the 21st century!" But, after the steam stops coming out of my ears and I come back down to Earth, I realize...it is just their cultural traditions. And, according to cultural relativism, I am in no such position to be saying that this way of thinking is wrong or even correct for that matter. At the wedding I went to way back when, I remember watching all of the young girls and women waking up early to clean all the dishes and begin preparing breakfast then continuing on to prepare an enormous dinner that evening which would feed all guests. This was all happening while the men were sitting around, drinking beer or tea, eating breakfast, sleeping, smoking cigarettes, etc. But no one seemed to complain - they all knew their respectful places in life.

For my YAN class the main program for the entire year is as follows: learn about computers, choose a problem or issues in your community to research on, then build a website and use multi media to teach others about the problem and advocate for solutions. I won't lie, I was really trying to encourage someone to research somewhere along the lines of gender roles and/or women's empowerment. But, no one took the bait. Even after we had great class discussion prompted by two women guest speakers we had come into class and discuss these issues. It was a bit disappointing to see no one jump on the idea... but it was a very concrete and necessary reminder to me. In the field of International Development, us outsiders, are not here to implement 'correct' way of living and change the way things are because that is what we want to see happen. Just because we think one lifestyle is better than another doesn't mean we are correct. It is about listening to the problems of the people. Then, collectively working towards sustainable and long term solutions to those problems. If gender roles and women's empowerment are not issues that are seen by students as issues, its because they are not issues at this point in time. As much as I see them as problem,s I am not a Cameroonian youth in any sort of position to advocate for women's rights in a foreign country when no one has asked me to do so.

This was a nice learning lesson for me. You can't make people see a problem that they don't think is a problem. You can't tell someone what the problems are in their own communities.

"You don fat"
Also meaning, "You have grown fat!"
To us over in the Western world... this is one of the worst insults you can ever say to a person, especially a girl/woman. I know when I am describing a person who is fat, I will even avoid that word by saying heavy or bigger or large just because of the negativity that is connected with the word fat. But here, the word fat is anything but negative!! I can't even count how many times someone has told me that I have gotten fat or have grown fat. For me, it is usually preceded or followed by the same person telling me, "You are enjoying Cameroon!" Here I would even go as far as saying it is a compliment to be called fat. People, and now myself included, will reply, "Thank you."

Accepting fat as a good thing, and actually being told that myself and others were 'too thin' was a bit difficult. My whole life I have been trained to think that I need to be thin. No extra fat, no rolls on my stomach, etc. Then, I slowly started to reflect on America's idea and perception of 'beauty' as well as the amount of criticism girls/women experience focusing around body image. It's a really sad thing that women are taught to shame their own bodies and criticize every inch of them. I went to Limbe beach with a handful of the 'foreign volunteers' about a month ago. We were laying on the beach in the sun enjoying ourselves. A fat (yes, I want to use that word because it is NOT a bad thing!) Cameroonian walked by all confident and happy in her two piece bikini. She was with some friends and they all walked town to the water. She began posing for photos and simply loving and enjoying life. This girl was big, she was very fat and yet that didn't stop her from enjoying her time at the beach. She wasn't self conscious she wasn't trying to cover herself up - nothing. Then, as I was noticing this scene. The girls I was with began to complain about every little part of their body. Nothing was good enough for them. A couple even began to mock the fat girl in the water. It was a sad situation. I think we can learn a lot about beauty when we take our eyes off of the altered/airbrushed/photo-shopped pictures in magazines, music videos and runways and begin to look at real bodies and real women.

Witchcraft
Lately, there has been a couple of instances of witchcraft going on in the area. People say that it happens year round but this particular time, the months preceding Christmas, is notorious for witchcraft ...and many motor accidents resulting in several deaths. About a month ago, a neighbor of mine said, "What has happened at your school today?" in a sort of panicked state - I could tell something wasn't right. I replied, "I'm not sure, I don't teach there today but will ask on Monday when I go... why what has happened?" She then said, "Over twenty students have collapsed!! No one knows why."

I thought, what on earth could have made more than twenty students randomly collapse all around the same time? I realized that I have really spent a fair amount of time in Cameroon and Africa in general because the first thing that came to my head was… Witchcraft. Yes, witchcraft. You think I’m crazy right? Well people here will think you are crazy for not believing. Cameroon is comprised of more than 260 different tribal/ethnic groups who each have their own dialects and traditional ceremonies and characteristics. Some are more likely to use witchcraft than others. When I arrived to the school in Buea Town on Monday to collect the curriculum booklets for corrections, my students had confirmed my assumptions… Indeed it was witchcraft that caused the children to collapse. No one knows who or why someone would have done that but it happened.

I know there are those on the other side of the world who are in disbelief and maybe even in outright laughter after reading this. "This isn't hocus pocus!" But I challenge you to stay open minded always remember to respect other cultures, beliefs and traditions. I challenge you to look beyond your own cultures, beliefs and traditions and beyond everything you have ever known to be real. Just because you don't practice, believe or have been witness to something - doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There will always be something we don’t understand and can’t make sense of, that’s what makes life interesting!

Witchcraft, magic and charms are all very common there here - all across Africa. My first experiences with it were in Uganda. I had students telling me about people who had died from witchcraft. For example, people were jealous of them so they would poison them or make a charm that would kill them. I laughed. I laughed a lot!! How ridiculous I would think to myself. The absurdity of an idea like that...

Then, something changed inside of me. When I was in Sengeal in 2011, I was witness to ndep. In short, ndep is an exorcism (in Western eyes). But it is much much more than that...it's a traditional  ceremony which is preformed as a type of collective therapy and allows for the public expression of the the individuals particular illness. It is held 2 times a day (at high noon and midnight) for 5-7 days. It is usually performed on young women who, I was told, are most susceptible to being possessed by a wrab. A wrab is a misguided spirit and Yoff Village (where I stayed) was full of these spirits. Friends told me that the spirits were more active and more dangerous during the day time, and that they often leech onto girl's/women's long hair and seep into their body that way. I was advised to wear my hair up and ward off these wrabs by wearing cowrie shells. What happens is, the girl or whomever needs an ndep first falls ill with some sort of mental illness such as insomnia. The family brings she/he to a local witch doctor who prescribes ndep. The Griot drummers use beats to set the patient into a trance that will eventually bring the spirit out of them. It was an extremely intense experience.

But, anyways, back to Cameroon...

Here in Cameroon, witchcraft is an offense that is not taken lightly. It is punishable by law with imprisonment of two to ten years and a fine of 5,000-100,000fcfa ($10-$200).

As for the moto accidents, this was the first one to set off the countless others...
Here was another very major one.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year! I spent it with Bill and Trixie of the 7th Day Adventist Hospital in Buea...they are both American volunteers who we (the local volunteers) like to refer to as the "Mom and Dad" of the volunteer community. Every Thursday they host a 'game night' where we all get together, sometimes bringing food but usually just smiles. That particular week, we celebrated Thanksgiving - and it was much more than I had ever dreamed possible in Cameroon. We substituted the turkey for chicken and the only thing missing was pumpkin pie! We had cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy, deviled eggs, green beans, herb bread, ratatouille and too many desserts to count!!

This year, I am thankful for the opportunity to spend my 25th Thanksgiving in Buea, Cameroon, a place that has become a second home to me. I am thankful for the opportunity to be pursuing 

my dreams :: living and working in Africa, empowering the youth to advocate using new 

media technology and continuing my quest of infinite knowledge.

 Live the life you love and love the life you live.

Sending Love Back Home
I wanted to give a shout out to my sister Hanna who sent me not one but two care packages for Christmas. One of the things I was missing most (besides the obvious family and friends) was the pumpkin theme of things... especially a pumpkin spice latte from Ramones Bakery inside of Wildberries in my beloved Arcata, California. My sister was thoughtful enough to send me mini pumpkin spice creamers.

It is the simple things in life that make me the happiest :)

Thanks Hanna (and Andy!)! And thanks Olivia and Mom and Dad for the letters and pictures!! Cora, I know you still love me :)

If anyone wants to send me a letter, card, package or photos please do so! It makes me whole week brighter - I love hearing from you guys back home. My address is:
Antonia Morzenti
c/o Youth Advocacy Network
PO Box 8
Buea, Southwest Region
Cameroon, West Africa

Youth Advocacy Network

I have been insanely busy with YAN! 

Please check out the details on their website here!

Very small turn out for the weekend catch up class at Lycee!

These are the "Advanced YAN" students who graduated last year and the year before.
They loved YAN so much they wanted to continue working so we have class once a week.

Here is the view walking from the Government High School in Buea Town.
Look at all that green!! Buea is right on the footsteps of Mount Cameroon.

Random Things I Have Been Doing...

I have been cooking... A LOT!!

The Thanksgiving dinner gave me some inspiration for what I can do here.

I've made several beef stews full of veggies, cakes, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, peppered steak, chicken soup with rice and even.... APPLE PIE BY STOVE TOP!!!

I went to a traditional wedding in Kumba. (Groom is on the left)

I started reading this epic book!!

Work has been stressing me out quite a bit so I have decided to make more solo trips to the beaches in Limbe. To get away from Buea, and people, and work, and everything!! 

Holiday Plans

This break is a much needed break! I am so thankful that it is in just 5 short days!

On the 20th I will leave to go to Bangem. It is in the Koupe Manengouba district of the Southwest region and is one of the two 'villages' that the Bakossi people hail from. The other is Tombel. Of course these two places are not the only villages, there are several inside of these areas - they are just the two general names that Bakossi people will give to others when asked where their village is. Here in Bangem is where I will get the see the Twin Lakes that I have heard so much about! One is male, one is female. It is forbidden to swim in the female lake. And apparently, as I mentioned before, if your throw a rock in the lake, it will throw it back out. I won't try this though. Unless I get permission from the chief. I don't want to upset the ancestors.

After about 5 days here just relaxing and exploring, I will go to Kumba and spend Christmas. I have many friends in Kumba so I know it will be a joyful and wonderful Christmas.

My 'sister' is getting married on the 28th so I am going to try my best to attend that wedding. 

After that, I will swing back to Buea to repack and reset myself before an epic journey up to the North and Extreme North regions of Cameroon. Here, my friends Megan and I will be visiting Maroua, Garoua, Rumsiki, Ngaoundere and many other exciting places! We will spend between 10-13 days playing and exploring! :) I can't wait!